Where Does The Time Go?

Wow. February 5. It feels like I just updated this blog a couple of weeks ago.

For any of you still out there, here's what we've been up to:

Moving: we began the process of putting our home on the market in March. By April, we were finally ready to list. In today's economy, we weren't sure how long it would be until we had a buyer. We had regular showings--every couple of days I was either going to work late or coming home early to make sure the house was clean for prospective buyers. Our house sold in under three weeks, which caught us a little off guard, because we had been so busy getting the house ready to sell that we hadn't bothered to look for a new one yet.

Our closing was in June; we had scheduled a two and a half week vacation a year ago that ended four days before our scheduled closing. We decided not to cancel. We enjoyed the vacation, but paid for the timing. We had four days to move our seven years worth of stuff plus the 20+ years of stuff from Hubby's childhood out of the house. We didn't make it--Hubby had to go back the next day for one final load. Fortunately the new buyer wasn't moving in until two weeks after the closing.

Since the closing, we've looked at probably 100 homes. We're still looking. It's been a frustrating process. Temporary housing is an apartment with a three-month lease; originally we thought that would be too long, but now I'm worried it won't be long enough.

We are hoping to be in permanent housing within the next couple of months. In the meantime, we don't have Internet access at the apartment, so postings will probably remain few and far between. Hopefully the next post will be a picture of our new house!

'Nuff Said

California Turbines Frozen in Minnesota Wind

From the Star Tribune:

"Like a lot of California transplants, 11 newcomers to Minnesota are having a hard time adjusting to our winters.

They are wind turbines, erected last fall by 11 metro and outstate cities. The green energy machines were expected to be spinning before Christmas, but so far their blades have been largely motionless, apparently paralyzed by frigid weather."

I posted this on Facebook but thought it was worth a second look here. Just more proof that things from California weren't meant to live in the Upper Midwest.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

January is usually the time when I post about how much I hate the cold, or about how much I hate how midwesterners drive in the cold. Today I thought I'd do something a little different. Below is a picture that accurately sums up the midwest experience for me:

For those of you who can't read the sign, it says "Free Mullet Removal." And yes, this huge sign was posted roadside here in Minnesota within the last few years. Because in Minnesota, the mullet is still an acceptable hair style, 25 years after it's 15 minutes of fame.

Bah Humbug-er's

Ah, the Christmas season. A time filled with decorations, parties, friends and family...

And shopping. Lots and lots of shopping.

I am a diehard Black Friday shopper. I've been doing it for years. There is nothing like the feeling of excitement that comes when one starts eargerly anticipating the arrival of the Thanksgiving paper and the included Black Friday ads.

I am a sucker for doorbusters, jewelry in particular. The Friday after Thanksgiving is the only morning of the year when I will voluntarily get up well before the crack of dawn to score $15 pearls or $10 earrings.

Each year the stores are opening earlier and earlier, and many of the major department stores find themselves competing with each other for customers. Both JCPenney's and Kohl's, stores that I routinely hit on Black Friday, opened at the 4AM this year. Herberger's, a midwest department store, opened at 3AM. All had excellent sales on jewelry, which presented a quandry for me.

For those of you who do Black Friday shopping, you know that many of the high profile door buster items are cleaned out within the first five minutes of the store opening. Picking which store to go to first is the equivalent of deciding which doorbuster you want the most. But many of the stores solved that problem for you this year by offering online shopping.

Herberger's was one store that offered customers the option to buy selected doorbusters online on Thanksgiving. Even though it was the only store opening at this time, it was a welcome discovery for me, becauase a) Herberger's is always obnoxiously crowded on Black Friday, b) I wasn't real excited about the 3AM opening, because c) it's freakishly cold in Minnesota at 3AM on the last Friday in November.

So, decked out in my comfy jammies and in the warmth of my own house, I solved my Herberger's dilemma on Thanksgiving by ordering all of the doorbuster merchandise I wanted online.

I received a confirmation email immediately, listing all of the merchandise I had just ordered. I then went to go get ready for Thanksgiving, quite proud of my shopping accomplishment.

The e-mail confirmation stated that my order would ship in 7-10 days. Sure enough, about a week later, a box from Herberger's appeared at our doorstep. However, it did not contain the full order. I received an email saying the rest of the items would be shipped shortly.

I waited another week, eagerly checking the mailbox each night to see if a package had arrived. When that week had passed, and still nothing had arrived, I began to get a little nervous. I had originally purchased all these items for gift exchanges we would be part of or as gifts for other people, and Christmas was rapidly approaching. I called the customer service number on the order confirmation to check the status of my order. I waited...and waited...and waited...and then decided that I could watch a little TV with one ear and keep the other ear open for the promised representative that was supposed to be with me shortly. I watched an entire half hour TV sitcom while waiting for that stupid representative before deciding the situation was ridiculous, and I would call back from work tomorrow when I could at least put the call on speaker phone so I could work while waiting for a human to pick up the phone.

The next day at work I made the call, put it on speaker phone, and waited another 20 minutes for a representative, only to find out that the remainder of the items I had ordered were not in stock. Now, this initially wasn't that big of a deal to me. I figured that the items were backordered, and, while we might not have them in time for Christmas, they would at least arrive sometime thereafter. A late present is better than no present at all.

But the items had not been backordered. Instead of trying to fill the rest of my order, Herberger's canceled it. THEY CANCELED IT. I was told by the poor person on the other end of the line who was in no way responsible for my situation but was having to deal with my wrath because of it that I should have received an e-mail notifying me of the cancelation.

I received no email. There was never any correspondence indicating that the order had been canceled. I received only two e-mails from Herberger's: the order confirmation and the shipping notice, wherein they said the rest of the items would be sent shortly.

Not only am I down several gifts I was counting on having days before Christmas, but I am down doorbuster jewelry items. These were not items we would purchase as gifts at regular price. Days before Christmas, there is no way we were going to find gifts of the same quality at the same price as the jewelry I had ordered. Furthermore, the entire problem could have been avoided if I had just done the shopping in-store the day after Thanksgiving; I could have left the store with the actual items in hand. But I didn't, because I thought I had finished all of my shopping online.

There was no indication on the Web site when I ordered that these items were not in stock. Apparently the people at Herberger's have never heard the old addage "If it's not for sale, don't put it in the window."

And there is one ad I will not be looking at when I make my 2010 Black Friday shopping list.

A-Typical Interview

For those of you who don't know, my husband works at a nursing home. As part of his duties, he is responsible for handling the admittance process for new residents, which includes a variety of paperwork and a pre-screening type interview.

One of the questions he has to ask about the person being admitted is whether or not they were ever a convicted sex offender, because, you know, nursing homes don't want to admit potential threats to their communities.

So on one recent day he is interviewing a man who is admitting his wife, and my husband gets to the part of the interview where he has to ask if the woman is a convicted sex offender.

The man's response?

"Well if she was, I was sure missing out."

Costco Fail

Recently I was making a run to Costco. I typically love shopping at Costco, but the one Costco experience I could do without is having to show your membership card upon entrance. I'm not sure why they do that, since you can't actually purchase anything without a membership card anyway, so it seems to be somewhat of a redundant effort.

But I digress. The reason it is my least favorite Costco experience is because I can never seem to manage to have the card out and ready to show in an efficient manner prior to actually entering the store. My best efforts are almost always derailed by a cell phone that rings at an inopportune moment, or a cart that doesn't realize that I am supposed to control the direction in which it travels, leaving me fiddling for my membership card as the greeter, and inevitably a line of people behind me, wait.

But on one recent trip no unwanted distractions occurred during the walk from the parking lot to the store, and I was actually able to pull my membership card out of my wallet prior to entering. I was quite proud of my accomplishment, so you can imagine my disappointment when the greeter didn't even glance at my card as I was approaching the entrance.

So what did I do? Why I repositioned the card of course, putting it in a location where she could not help but see it (actually, she probably couldn't have avoided it if she tried).

You can imagine my surprise and confusion, then, when instead of smiling at me and welcoming me to Costco, a place in where my membership card clearly indicated I belonged, the greeter looked at me like I was an escapee from a local mental institution.

Then I realized the card I had taken such care to show to her wasn't my Costco membership card at all, but a rewards card for a local gas station chain.

Battle of the Bulge

Recently Hubby and I went out to eat. Somehow, we got on the topic of breakfast, and Hubby mentioned that during a recent morning commute to work, the dry cereal he had brought to munch on just didn't seem that appealing anymore.

What did Hubby want to eat instead? A doughnut.

Both Hubby and I have been experiencing weight gain in the last few years. Nothing extreme, but neither of us is in the shape we once were, or in the shape we'd like to be.

So Hubby tells himself that he does not need a doughnut. The cereal he brought is just fine. He continues on his way, and then remembers that he is low on gas, and needs to stop at a gas station before work.

This is somewhat problematic, because the station he has stopped at also sells doughnuts.

"I do not need a doughnut, I do not need a dough nut, I do not need a doughnut," Hubby tells himself.

This strategy almost works. Almost. Before leaving, Hubby notices that the station has a special on doughnuts: by one, get one free.

So what does Hubby do? I'll let him tell you in his own words:

"So I didn't buy a doughnut. I bought two."