Thursday, January 24, 2008

Life: 1, Me: 0

Remember when you were a kid and you were playing some game like kickball or foursquare at recess and things weren't quite going your way and you'd call out "DO-OVER!" and more often than not you'd get a second chance? Who ever decided that your supply of do-overs expired when you got too old for recess? I think there should be a do-over system for adults, similar to vacation days that you accrue. So when you have days when life just seems to be constantly kicking you in the heiny, you could call out "DO-OVER!" and just go back to bed and start from scratch.

Like those days when you wake up and it's below zero outside, and all you want to do is stay in bed, but you can't because you have to go to work. And then you end up running late to work anyway because you hit the snooze button one too many times because it's just sooooo much nicer in your bed under your cozy electric blanket. And then when you're getting dressed, you find you have to raid the dirty laundry pile for something to wear, because you are going out after work and every article of clothing you own that would be appropriate for the venue is sitting in that pile of dirty laundry that you didn't get a chance to finish washing last weekend because your husband tried to be helpful and you haven't had time to do any more laundry since. And then when you finally are ready to leave, after spraying half a bottle of body spray on your pants to mask any suspicious odors, you go outside to have your daily battle with the frozen garage door only to find that, this time, it's really over. The garage door, after raising about a foot and a half, apparently decides that it dislikes the cold weather as much as you do, and refuses to go any farther. No amount of pushing, pulling, kicking, pleading or jumping while pushing to add velocity has any effect. Clicking the remote control only produces a weird humming noise from somewhere inside the garage. No, the door will not budge. So you call the construction superintendent that works for your company and who lives north of you, and hope that the status of his morning commute currently puts him somewhere in the vicinity of your house. Fortunately, the construction superintendent agrees to help you with your garage door problem, and, upon arrival, the first thing he does is click the remote control. The door immediately opens. However, your dignity is partially restored when the construction superintendent clicks the remote again, and the door makes the strange humming noise it did for you earlier and refuses to move. The construction superintendent does something construction-y to your garage door so that it will at least close and not remain wide open all day.

Your car now having been freed, you are able to go to work, albeit an hour late. Upon arrival, you discover that your boss wants to make revisions to a large document pertinent to your line of work. However, there is a slight problem. Your office only has a hard copy of this document. The original electronic file was not something you created. It wasn't something anyone in your office created. An attorney created this document in the same year you were beating Super Mario Brothers for the first time. This attorney is now retired. Of course you have no way of contacting him, or even verifying that he is still alive, and even if you could reach him, the electronic file was probably created in some archaic word processing software that you wouldn't be able to open on your computer anyway. Your company does not own the software that allows you to scan in a text-based document and make changes to that document. Your company will not buy the software that allows you to scan in a text-based document and make changes to that document. This means that you will spend your day retyping the entire 40 page document, all the while trying to figure out, why, exactly, you bothered to get a college degree.

If adults got do-overs, today would be one of mine.

But I suppose I should stop complaining and get back to typing...

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