Friday, April 11, 2008

When Will It End?

I don't know what came over me this morning.

I saw this woman dumping stuff on our lawn, and I just snapped. I'm talking insanity of previously unreached proportions. I think I might have even foamed at the mouth a little. "Who does she think she is?" I fumed. "Doesn't she understand that this isn't her personal dumping ground?"

I screamed at her to pick up her stuff and leave, but she didn't listen to me. She just kept on dumping it there, oblivious to my misery. I've seen her around here before, doing the same thing. I don't know what to do about it. According to the locals, she's been doing it for years, and no one's ever been able to stop her.

So I did the only thing I could do. I shook my fist at her and shouted "Some day! Some day I'll show you! Some day I'll invent a machine that controls you and your ways, and then we'll just see if you can manage to make it snow in April!"

Stupid Mother Nature. Stupid snow. Stupid winter.

10 comments:

Jillian said...

Awww. I'll try and send some spring your way.. :-(

Jeff said...

Very clever. You had me going there for a minute ;-)

I hear it's supposed to be like the Bahamas here by Wednesday, so I'm pretty sure you won't be seeing her around again.

Laura said...

Ah man! And here I am in 90 degree weather with my AC running. Thanks for the awesome writing...you had me going too!

Mrs. R said...

Jillian: Hurry!

Jeff: I hope so. I seriously can't take any more of this.

Laura: I'm so jealous! What I wouldn't give for half of that temperature right now!

Dorky Dad said...

Oh man, you had me going. I totally thought you had this insane neighbor and wondered why you didn't call the cops or go out there with a machete.

HA!

Strangely, I've had similar thoughts, but I just blame the weather forecasting persons.

Mrs. R said...

Dorky Dad: I actually thought about going outside with a machete and using it on the snow...but then I figured that would just make more of a mess rather than eliminating any of the Evil White.

Colleen said...

I fell for it too! I'm sorry that you're in never-ending winter. Like Laura, we ran the AC over the weekend. It was already 97 degrees on Sunday! I don't think I'm ready for that kind of heat quite yet. Thank goodness we dropped back into the 70's today.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

You had me going too. Sorry about the snow...here's sending warm wishes your way!

Queen Goob said...

Have you KICKED her padoobies yet?

BTW - I hope to bring a smile by telling you we've had record low temperatures this week, even a frost warning.

Miss ya, hope to see you soon.

Mrs. R said...

Colleen and Mrs. Schmitty: Thank you for your well wishes of warmth. I think they might be working, we've been in the 60's all week!!!

Queen: Haha. I would have if I could have. And yes, it does make me feel better to know you're cold and miserable too. :)