Thursday, May 15, 2008

My Eyes, My Eyes!

I would like to ask that each of you spend a few minutes thinking and reflecting on the following questions:
  1. Do you have family pictures that you've set as your computer background or screen saver?
  2. Do you have these pictures on a laptop in addition to or instead of a desktop?
  3. Do you travel for work?
  4. Do you use your laptop for business purposes?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, but in particular questions 2-4, then I must ask for the sake of all that is Holy that you comply with the following request:

If your "family" pictures include a picture of your significant other dressed in lingerie and posing suggestively on a bed, please please please take any and all necessary precautions to ensure that when you go to give a presentation on affordable housing at a church and you take a break from fiddling with the laptop/overhead hookup and said break is so long that your computer defaults to screen saver mode, that the screen saver image now being projected onto the giant jumbotron the church has set up specifically for your presentation is not, I repeat, NOT the do-it-yourself photo you took of your significant other posing suggestively on the bed in tight red lingerie. This will result in extreme embarrassment for you, and your significant other should they happen to be in the room, not to mention the dozens of people who innocently happen to be within eyesight of the jumbotron. And if, for whatever reason, you choose not to heed my warning, then please, if you are going to leave your computer unattended, at least monitor the jumbotron so that if your computer does go into screen saver mode and does project your Victoria's Secret photos, you will notice it sooner rather than later and be able to deal with it in a timely manner. Please do not get so engrossed in the buffet table that you are the only person in the room not aware of what is going on, forcing the rest of us to have to figure out a way to tactfully inform you that the entire room now knows your taste in lingerie. And women.

I'm still trying to shake that image out of my head a week later.


Jeff said...

OMG - that's the funniest thing I ever heard! What a great story... I mean, if you're not that guy.

Queen Goob said...

Oh my goiter....I just snorked my piece of chocolate but then again it was SO worth it! That is FUNNY! Have you seen the guy since last week? Did he show up to church this past Sunday? Did he have his Victoria's Secret model in tow? Mrs. R…’re leaving us hanging here.

Carolee said...

That is hilarious!! What was he thinking, obviously he wasn't! I'm with queen goob, I need to hear more details:)

Mrs. R said...

Jeff: Yeah, when he finally realized what was going on, he turned red.

Queen & Carolee: I didn't mean to leave you hanging. :) The event was ecumenical, so this man is not a member of my particular church. So I did not have to see him Sunday, and have not seen him since. :) But I do expect to see him next Wednesday for the next event of the ecumenical organization I'm a part of, so if there are any interesting updates at that time, I'll be sure to let you guys know. :)

Mrs. Schmitty said...

Oh no!! Now that is embarrasing!! But funny as anything!

Jillian said...

LOL @ what Jeff said.

But seriously... Hahahaha. I would DIE if that happened to me, and at CHURCH no less!

VE said...

Too funny. Somebody should take the image and make him one of those "motivation" posters that says 'Embarassement...' on it!

Mrs. R said...

Mrs. Schmitty and Jillian: Yes, it was funny for the rest of us, not so much for him.

VE: Haha. Or we could use the same image in a book on presentations. It could be in the "Don't Do This" section.