Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Parade of Stupid Marches On

I've had my car for more than a year, but that didn't stop me from pulling up on the wrong side at the gas station this weekend. I didn't even realize what I had done until I had gotten out of the car. Then, because I was too embarrassed to get back in the car and drive to another pump in front of everyone, I quickly eyeballed the hose to see if it looked like it would stretch, and, since it did, I nonchalantly acted as though I had meant to pull up on the wrong side the entire time and proceeded to unscrew the gas cap, slide my credit card in the reader thingy, and grabbed the pump handle. I made it about halfway around the back of my car before being snapped back like a rubber band because the hose was about half as long as I thought it was. I had no choice but to put the hose back, wait for the machine to cancel the transaction, and then do what I was trying so hard to not do in the first place: get back in my car and drive to another pump. By this time of course, there were twice as many people at the gas station as when I first got there. Oh, and I forgot to screw the gas cap back on when I moved, so it was clanging against the side of my car during the whole process. As if I needed anything else to draw attention to what I had just done. I wish I could just say "It doesn't matter because I'll never see any of those people again," but since the gas station is on the corner of where our church is and there's a good chance that most of those people there thought that they would fill up quick on their way home from church just like I did, I'm betting the odds are pretty good that I'll see most of them again this Sunday.

I did something else the same day that was even more stupid, but it was so bad, I'm too embarrassed to write about it. Let's just say it's a good thing that 2 gallon milk cartons don't fit between the shelves in our kitchen cupboards, otherwise there would probably be a pretty rancid stank coming from one of them right about now.

I think I'm living proof that Alzheimer's is genetic.

9 comments:

Queen Goob said...

Hey, at least you took the nozzle out of the hole and hung up the hose before you drove to another pump. I've drivin off with the nozzle still in the gas tank hole-thingy. AND.....a friend/co-worker was at the gas station so she CALLS me and TELLS me how she's laughing and talking to strangers about what I did.

Oh, and I've decided these things we do are not stupid; instead, I tell people that women are only capable of multitasking a total of 347 things and my multitasking capacity was at a maximum.

Carolee said...

That was so funny. I could picture that being in a Seinfeld episode!!

VE said...

Words of your embarrassing actions have already made it to Oregon; they have photos posted at all the gas stations... (just kidding...it happens to us all...)

Colleen said...

We all have our days, don't we!?! It seems like the people with passenger side gas tanks never have a line at Costco or Sam's Club gas stations. I've seen people reach the gas hose over the top of their car in order to avoid the lines. But it's usually tall men that I see doing that. I don't know if I'd be able to reach over the top of the car. Anyway, best of luck next time you have to fill your tank.

Mrs. R said...

Queen: Hahahahahaha. That is hysterical. Okay, now I don't feel so bad. Thanks. :)

Carolee: I think we should pool our stories and write a TV sitcom. It worked for Jerry, it could work for us.

VE: We should do a stories board at every gas station, and everyone could share their embarrassing stories for other customers to read. At least it would make getting gas a little more enjoyable.

Colleen: I've seen that at Costco too--actually, that's why I thought it would work for me. But I guess the gas hoses at Costco are supersized, just like everything else.

Jeff said...

Milk in the cupboard eh? Thankfully that's one I haven't tried yet ;-)

Mrs. R said...

Jeff: Yeah, I'm getting senile before my time.

Jillian said...

LOL... I do the gas station thing, too.

One time I was on my cell phone and wound up pumping gas with my ENGINE still running! Thank God nothing happened AND no one else was there to see me. I'm always pointing out people and the dumb crap they do, it's never fun when someone call ME on it.

Mrs. R said...

Jillian: OMG, I'm glad nothing happened to you and you didn't have witnesses. :) I know, I like making fun of people who do dumb things too--I think it's because it's reassuring to know I'm not alone. :)