Friday, January 9, 2009

In The 'Hood

You know you live in the Ghetto when:

1. People in the low-income housing directly abutting your backyard use said backyard as their personal land fill.

2. Items thrown over your backyard fence include not only other people's trash and toys, but on occasion an old Dr. Pepper bottle filled with a substance that looks suspiciously like human pee.

3. Your neighbors think it's okay to throw their trash over your fence.

4. Low-income housing directly abuts your backyard.

5. The neighborhood kids routinely hop the fence into your yard despite repeated requests for them not to do so because they think that just because you have a swing set in your backyard that your backyard is a public park and not private property.

6. When you threaten to talk to their parents after having to chase them out of your yard too many times, they look at you with surprise and say "But my parents said it was okay."

7. Some of the neighbors bring in their trash cans 6 days after trash pickup...if you're lucky.

8. Your backyard fence has been knocked down on more than one occasion by a person who learned to drive in a country other than the U.S. and who can't seem to figure out that you don't have to wait until you hit things to figure out that you've gone too far, you can use those mirrors they put in the cars for you to judge how close you are to something.

9. Visitors to your low-income neighbors arrive in RV's which they park in front of your house and then proceed to set up camp on your curb for the duration of their visit. Calls to the police only result in them backing up their trailer 30 feet or so.

10. And finally, you have to pause the movie you're watching on a Friday night with your husband because you have just noticed that the SWAT team is running through your yard with their rifles drawn looking for God knows who and you need to stay away from the windows to avoid any stray bullets.

I. Can't. Wait. To. Move.


Queen Goob said...

You have GOT to be kidding husband is a photographer and you didn't have pictures to post????

Honey, Florida is great, come on down! Just stay up here in the panhandle because South Florida is similar to what you're living now.

HUGS and if you need help packing, just let me know!

The SWAT Team? Really?

Laura said...

OMG! I had no idea it was that bad! I'll pray your move is soon!

Mrs. R said...

Queen: I wish I was kidding...we were planning on moving later this year to a less ghetto-y suburb...I can't wait!

Laura: It's only been within the past six months or so that we've had issues with armed police officers looking for people in our neighborhood. But yeah, I can't wait to get out of here.

Queen Goob said...

HEY!!!! Have hubby set up some night-vision surveillance for our viewing pleasure! I'm sure none of your neighbors frequent the least not the blogs! You guys could make it into a "date night".

Mrs. R said...

Queen: Haha. Well, that's one way we could make this beneficial for us. The problem is the people around here would probably find the equipment and steal all the copper off of it.

Queen Goob said...

We'll have to figure something covert out so that you can post some pics.

I was watching my favorite channel today and wanted to tell you to put on those flannels jammies, heat up some hot chocolate, start a fire and cuddle with your honey.....girl, you need to STAY WARM! I can't believe how cold the weather is up there; it's so cold there it actually scares me to think of people leaving their house and just venturing out to the car.


Colleen said...

Wow! And I get annoyed that my neighbors have multiple families living in their house with at least 5 cars parked out front every night - I guess I shouldn't complain. I hope you're able to move to a nicer neighborhood soon.