It is cold here.
So cold that your skin starts burning from the cold after a minute or two of being outside (I think the medical term for this is frostbite).
So cold that you have to call your mother-in-law and her husband to come over and jump start your car in the middle of the day because it won't start.
So cold that the salt they use to melt the snow can't work...resulting in an unfortunate supply of black ice. Everywhere.
So cold that it is actually too cold to snow.
So cold that you have to use your break time at work to let your car run for a few minutes to help minimize the chances that it won't start again when you go to leave at night.
So cold that half the schools in the state are either delayed or closed completely.
So cold that if you don't let your car run for at least 10 minutes before trying to drive it, you will spend your morning commute either sitting in a stalled car or trying to keep from getting frostbite in your car, because the heat will not kick in for at least 15 minutes and even though it's at least 20 degrees warmer in your car than it is outside, when it's -20 degrees outside it's sort of a moot point.
So cold that it's -20 degrees outside.
So cold that as I type this, it is -8 degrees here... and 24 degrees in Antarctica. Antarctica people.
So cold that when you get to your office all excited to be someplace warm after the trek through the frigid parking lot, you find that there is no heat because the outside heating unit that controls the temperature in your office space has frozen over.
So cold that your nose hairs freeze upon immediate contact with the air.
So cold that if you leave the house with your hair wet, that freezes too (you'd think I'd learn after years of living here, but alas...).
So cold that your husband, the stalwart Minnesotan, says it feels cold in the house and allows the heat to stay at 65 degrees instead of the normal 59. And then still thinks it's cold.
And it's only January...